Salty Evans

Me: Hey Sally... is that all you're having for dinner? A little plate of calamari?

Sally: Oh yeah... you see, I was cooking today, and I bla bla bla bla *at this point I zoned out and did not absorb any of what she was saying because she was diligently shaking salt onto her hand* bla bla bla bla, bla!

Me: Um, Sally?

Sally: Yes?

Me: I actually didn't pay any attention to what you just said because... well... why are you salting your hand?!

Sally: Oh! *looks sheepish* I just wanted to check what was in the shaker.

Me: By... SALTING YOUR HAND?

Sally: Ok fine, I wanted a salty hand!

Me: Seriously, though. You don't have to do that! Just look on top of the shaker, and if it's one hole, it's salt. See? One hole, salt. And this one over here; one hole, salt. You don't have to salt your hand each time!

Sally: :(

Debbie: Hey, can you pass me some pepper?

Me: Sure. Lesee... one hole, salt. This one's salt too. Ah, here we go. 5 holes. See, Sally? FIVE HOLES. PEPPER.

Debbie: *shakes 5-hole shaker on food.* This is SALT.

Sally: Hah! HAH!!!! THERE GOES YOUR HOLES THEORY! HAHHHHHH

Me: Gawdammit.

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Me: Hey Sally... what's that over there?

Sally: Where? *Looks behind her carefully*

Me: *Steals a piece of calamari*

Sally: ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Me: Hehehehe... I actually didn't expect you to fall for that. But you did, so I was like... might as well!

Sally: Well I didn't think you were this horrible!

Me: Hehehe... ok fine, have some of my lamb shank.

Sally: I most certainly will, now! *cuts off a small piece of lamb* That's yours. THE REST IS MINE.

Me: :(