Went to toss out the oversized trash yesterday with Eugene.
'Twas our last day together as housemates, but certainly not as Bros. And it's not like I'm saying goodbye to some deadly hot femme fatale; it's Eugene, so I'm not emo bwahahaha.
So anyway, we gathered up a bunch of refuse too large to be disposed of conventionally; things like our old couch, broken chairs, a large photo print, metal rods, and gigantic pieces of laminated wood (yeah, ye olde housemate sure does like his giant planks of wood). We tossed them all the in the back of a ute (Australian lingo for utility truck) we rented and drove out to the nearest dump (transfer stations, they're called here. And garbagemen are probably called public hygiene technicians or some other bureacratic nonsense. A dump's a dump, right?).
They weigh your vehicle as you go in and again when you leave, then charge you per 100kg of refuse- all suprisingly high tech.
You then drive into this giant warehouse with a huge pit in the middle which is constantly being filled by garbage trucks. A huge, specially designed bulldozer drives up and down flattening everything and shoving it around, and visible clouds of dust and fumes hang in the air.
The smell was pretty strong, though not as bad as garbage trucks in Malaysia, for some reason. It's like even the trash is cleaner here.
You then reverse your ute up to the railing surrounding the pit, and manually move your trash in.
We were a bit grumbly about the whole affair up to this point, because it had basically been a boring and tiresome errand. What followed next was Legendary.
With bored expressions and glazed eyes we each picked up a piece of trash from the ute and tossed it into the pit. In that instant, our eyes lit up, the clouds parted, and a beam of light shot down from the heavens to illuminate the wondrous looks on our faces as we turned to look at each other, agape. Eureka.
Throwing large objects over a railing into a huge pit to be bulldozed is INCREDIBLY, CRAZILY FUN.
It was like the stress and frustration of 6 years of medical school and the final exam was being vented all at once, right there, right then.
And let me tell you this: it takes years to learn to create, but the talent for destruction is innate to us all, and an absolute ecstasy to indulge in.
With whoops of glee we cast metal rods like spears into the pit. We threw in the print and listened happily as the glass shattered and exploded into tiny slivers everywhere. The cushions flew in impressive arcs when flung backhanded like frisbees. And the couch landed with a very satisfying boom and collapsed under the impact of its own weight.
The only problem was that it was over all too soon. As suddenly as we had discovered the delight, we ran out of things to toss and the deed was done.
Still, the satisfaction was immense. The experience had been incredibly therapeutic, and with a victorious roar and a fist-bump, we drove off into the afternoon sun and cruised down the road alongside the river.
If you EVER get the chance, try it. It will be one of the most fun things you ever do.
